Passing By The Ex... - justin_guber

Passing By The Ex...

I'm in a cybercafe today. A cybercafe designed for the majority of people who are more right-sided than left. Not much legroom. I think my butt is going to go to sleep. Don't like this chair.

Anyhow, earlier, at home, I was writing an entry for this blog to transfer later, filled with anger, frustration, confusion, fear and all that bollocks. Since then, I've calmed down, and have saved you all from having to put up with an entry reminiscent of a 16 year old emo kid suffering from very acute depression. That's not what this blog is about. Sure I may rant and rave, but there are certain emotions I just don't like to put up on the net so bare. It just reads badly.

So what was it that got me all pent up, anyway? My ex.

See, I was at a mall in a meeting with one of my partners in the record label and one of the bands we manage. After all was done, as I'm walking back, I pass by my ex-girlfriend from last year.

I had been playing this scenario in my head quite a few times, figuring what to say, every possible rebuttal, but when I saw her, I freaked. I tried my best to avoid eye contact and hoped she didn't see me.

You see, when she broke up with me, it was bad, but what happened afterwards, oh boy, what happened afterwards... heh. Let's just say I'm pretty sure the visits to the therapists and the expensive pills would be non-existent. I won't go into details. It was just bad.

The worst was, everytime she made me feel bad, I'd get what my therapist like to refer to as 'a physical manifestation of my emotional self' or something. This involved nausea, headaches, and worst of all, killer stomach aches, usually followed by painful visits to the toilet.

And in one glance, the feelings came back.

God, the events that happened after we broke up, I wrote a fucking book about, and it only covers about 20% of the whole story. Everything else that happened, let's just say I wasn't in the right state to write it. I don't think I will anytime soon, either, unless I hide the facts really, really well.

Thankfully, I've calmed down a lot since then. My wonderful girlfriend managed to calm me down, and all is well. A million questions are still running through my mind, but I'm not going to bug you with them. Instead, I'll leave you with this one piece of advice:

Do not drink the water from the river Nile.

4.6.04 18:52

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